Effie's Top Ten Shitcoms (with editorial comments and marks out of ten)

My Family 

Reeks of Middle England .

 

(Shooting fish in a barrel, this one. 2/10)

Coach

If only for the inclusion of Ted Danson/Craig Short.

(Are you getting mixed up with 'Coach' from 'Cheers'? Still any derogatory reference to Danson (cunt) is a bonus and full marks for the EFC reference - 10/10)

 Mister Ed    

I’m too young to have seen it first time around but it was repeated on Channel 4 when I was a kid during the summer holidays. Fcuking hated it.

http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20070712/NEWS/707120375

(British sitcoms! 3/10)

 Everybody Loves Raymond 

Not me, was forced to watch it every week day for a few months last year in the tea room at work by a fat supervisor

(That fucking horrible Custard the Cat voice! 7/10)

 

Home Improvement 

Tim Allen, possibly one of the most punchable actors on television, especially that ‘groaning’ type noise which was his catchphrase of sorts on the show. 

(I'll have to take your word for all of this. 7/10) 

The Love Boat 

My mother used to force me to watch this when she was pis*ed on a Sunday afternoon.

(This e mail came via the MOD - hence the lack of proper cunting swearing 5/10)

 Will & Grace   

Groundbreaking shitcom centred around a ‘horses-hoof’. Essential Friday night viewing for Lambrini drinkers.

(Points docked for homophobia and being obsessed with Americana. 4/10)

 Happy Days   

I enjoyed this as a kid, but nowadays I don't think a man who is blatantly in his forties, hanging around a gent’s toilet would be so popular. George Michael anyone?

Fonz carves out a glory hole in his neighbourhood public lavatory.

(Just one gent's toilet? Points docked for misplaced apostrophe. 7/10)  

King of Queens     

Not a Freddie Mercury documentary but a really bad American shitcom. Why do I know this programme? Blame the Paramount channel.

(Points docked once again for baffling freudian obsessions and a poor choice of shitcom. Arthur Spooner is one of THE great sit-com characters 0/10)

 

Max & Paddy   

Peter Kay starting to get a bit annoying, basically uses and re-uses his old gags over and over again. Plus, Bolton accent gets on my t*ts.

(Now you're talking. Mu-uuuuuu-mmmm! Me biscuit's fallen in me broo!" Just fuck off. 10/10)

 

Final score = 55% (Bronze Award)