Hi! Tom Bobsley here!

You may remember me as cuckolded family man Howard Cunningham from Happy Days.

"Why cuckolded, Tom?" you might be thinking.

Well for a start, my son Ron Howard's so-called 'buddy', Arthur Fonzarelli was regularly slotting my wife Marian while I was at my Grand Order of Buffalo meetings and Ralph Malph and even Pottsy were slipping her a length whenever I was at my ironically named 'Hardware Store'.

The bastards.

I was also Father Dowling in the crappy, but popular Monday afternoon 'Father Dowling Mysteries' on BBC1. People were also asking me: "Say Howard, when you were working with the good looking nun with all the make up on, did you, you know, get a 'stiffy'?"

"Hot diggity!" I say. "She sure had a cute ass! Man, I burst through two hundred cassocks on Season One alone!"

If you're one of your English 'mings' who didn't go to bed until the 'little white daht' disappeared in the 1970s, you might remember my voice over from 'Hurrah For Hollywood!, one of those goddamn shitey end of night-time viewing on your lil ol' British Granada TV. It wasn't as good as 'Oscar Peterson Presents' or even 'Police Surgeon', but it sure whipped the pants offa 'The George Hamilton IV Show'!

See ya soon!

Tom Bobsley

ps. Shucks! Almost forgot m' manners!

Pick the bones outta that!