Daphne Fowler's Deadliest Men
"Eh-oh. Ma nem i' Daph-neh Fow-leh a' t'nigh a be lookin' a some of the mo' evi' pippil in the Ooh-keh.
Pwoppeh norteh sum a vem!
Menneh a tam a ha' to give i' toes cos the' wi so norteh!
Brickin' it, a was, big tam!
Ma first Dedlest Ma' is a big fat ga from Newc-a-hell. He look nails and he's got a'enormi peh of tits!
Di pick-her rema me of Eh-head, ma pro-ram on the tell-eh, coh CJ and Chri' are also an enormi peh of tits!
A' i' Ba-reh off E-head, but he can't be a peh of tits, coh the i' on'y woh of him!
No, Ba-reh off E-head i' noh a peh of ti'; Ba=reh i' a cock.
Tha' all for now - see you neh wee', whe' a' be looki' a the Yar-deh in Nor' E' Luh-doh.